I feel myself crumbling
Of a weight that feels like a titans hand
By a burden I’ve given myself
I am atlas.
I watch myself
In the mirror
And there’s questions in my eyes
I am too embarrassed to answer
Even when I’m alone
A haunting low wail.
Quiet enough to mean something
Not loud enough to share.
I hold my knees as tight as I can
This is how I keep it together.
I keep my eyes closed when I think about you.
So maybe I’ll wake up and the reason my heart beats this fast will be because of a dream.
Because you’ve chased me with a knife made of stories I’ve told you.
And you know it’ll cut me
Cause you still haunt me.
So you chase me until we’re exhausted
and I try to reason with you
I shield the wrong part of myself
I’ve fallen in the garden we’ve made together in spring
Nothing has grown in months
Except for these white flowers that brides hold.
But I wake up
And it still hurts.
I shouldn’t have given you that knife